SHOW DATE: AUGUST 6, 2014
The Israeli-Palestinian debate is one of the most polarizing issues we’ve EVER come across. And this only caps the tower of hot-button issues that have accreted and grown in the past year: gay marriage, Obamacare, abortion, and—yes, once again—contraception, along with myriad other topics.
Inevitably these create strong opinions and opinions often bleed over into work. It’s true that you should not have to forfeit your values because you’re worried it will piss off management. But how do so without submitting to the beliefs of others?
Soothe your nerves… Auntie Evan and Uncle David are here to explain all.
It all start with Auntie Evan at the fledgling age of 23, teaching his first aerobics lesson.
This is NOT an accurate representation of Auntie Evan at 23.
There he was instructing his class in a Beverly Hills club. Five Jewish women across from him started discussing the situation in the Middle East (yeah, there was one back then as well).
Auntie Evan will never forget this. One of the women turned around and said: “The only good Palestinian is a dead Palestinian.”
Auntie Evan FREAKED OUT (in his mind). He retorted: “What are you talking about? Palestinians deserve the same rights as everybody!”
The Beverly Hills aerobics student replied: “Either you’re out of this club, or I’m out of this club.” It was five to one. Auntie Evan was fired from his job at the club for standing up for his values.
Was that a smart move on his part? Probably not. But here is how he got a PROMOTION right after. That same woman later called up Auntie Evan, apologized, and hired him back as a private trainer. (She didn’t change her mind by the way.)
Now that we have a nice running start into the topic, let’s dive in and get PRACTICAL. This is how to manage the WAR in your office.
The BIGGEST problem you have when you’re expressing your views is the blatant “dueling” stance you take every time you get passionate, angry, whatever at another employee or higher-up.
What happens when you keep your mouth shut? Uncle David had a client, a republican politician, running for office. This guy opposed to gay marriage, something Uncle David was passionate about. Guess what? Had to do everything in his power to get the politician elected. It was DIFFICULT. In the end, David kept the job, but he did feel bad about it.
How can you keep your values and beliefs without turning the office into a WARZONE?
Swallow your ego. Let go of wanting to make the other person wrong. If your goal is just to right? Do you want to be right or do you want to be EFFECTIVE.
Take the first step. That’s what LEADERS do. If both of you are in the “right,” apologize first. If they’re raging, explain it rationally to them FIRST.
Put a day in between what happened and your response. Tom says something absurd. You’re raging. Wait a day and cool down and see how it plays out then. You’re not the REASON for this war (it takes two), but don’t let your emotions get all carpe diem and make them a catalyst.
Get behind your apology and MEAN IT. Even if they say “F*ck off” and hang up on you. Put yourself on the line.
Call your crew off. We know you’ve got supporters. But back them off before they start up the war again.
There you have it.