FIRE OF THE WEEK: SUPERINTENDENT DR. KATHLEEN MALONEY

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Every week, Auntie Evan and Uncle David scour the news to find a Hire or Fire of the Week. Hires display impeccable aplomb and go above and beyond what they’re expected to do on the job. Fires do the opposite. Tune in every week to see who’s getting Hired or Fired next. 

SHOW DATE: OCTOBER 9, 2013

Dr. Kathleen Maloney, Superintendent of the Port Washington school district In Long Island, New York, has temporarily banned footballs, soccer balls, baseballs—basically anything that may cause injury—at a local school. Why? She wants to make sure that, “the children have fun, but are also protected.”

Maloney, we know you’re trying to protect the children, but let’s face what’s really happening here: you’re a control freak. You’re acting just like the refrigerator nazi who labels everyone’s food. Part of being a kid is stumbling and falling and getting hurt—let it happen.

Eventually someone’s going to eat your sandwich, and eventually a kid’s going to scrape his knee. Maloney, you’re not helping by being the den mother, you’re just exercising your need to be in control.

We say, play ball!

MAKE YOUR RESUME LOOK SOPHISTICATED

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Uncle David has gotten every job he has ever gone for, so when he gives job-hunting advice, you better listen up. Join us every week for Uncle David’s 100% Successful Job Hunting Tip.

SHOW DATE: OCTOBER 9, 2013

They say the job god is in the details, and that includes something as minute as the spacing between the letters in your resume. It’s these little differences that make you stand out from everybody else.

Here’s how to increase the character spacing in Word and make you resume look more sophisticated and elegant.

You know those section titles you have, “Experience,” “Education,” etc.? We’ll be focusing on that today.

Right click the section title and choose “Font…”

right click font

 

Next go to the “Advanced” tab (note: this is if you’re using Word 2010; Word 2007 will say “Character Spacing.” In the “Spacing:” drop-down menu, select the “Expanded” option and in the “By:” drop-down menu directly to the left, type the number “2″ in place of the “1,” and leave the “pt” alone.

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And here is the result:

experience example

IT’S TIME FOR YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS TO GROW UP

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Think your email account is ready for prime time? Think again. If you’re like many job applicants out there, your email account is greatly reducing the chances of you getting called in for an interview. Here, Auntie Evan alerts you to the main offenders, and tells you what you can do to give your online life a makeover.

FOUR OF THE WORST JOB HUNTING TIPS EVER

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SHOW DATE: OCTOBER 2, 2013

Carmel Lobello from TheWeek.com did an excellent job compiling four of the worst job-hunting tips of all time. We enjoyed the list so much we decided to give it our own take.

1) Send a shoe, get the boot:  GuerillaJobHunting.com suggest you should get a cheap pair of shoes, take one out and put a note in the box with the remaining shoe saying: “Now that I have one shoe in the door let me introduce myself…” This is job hunting folklore, it’s common knowledge not to do this. But sometimes people just don’t get the message. A Stern Business School applicant actually tried this—he sent in his application, and then sent in the shoe. We all know how this story ends: a big fat rejection.

2) Force them to meet you at Starbucks: One of the items on a list of guerilla job hunting tips from Salary.com advises you not to fall for the “trap” of sending just your résumé and salary requirements while forgoing “engaging on your terms.” What exactly are “your terms”? Sending a potential employer a $1 Starbucks giftcard, and then asking them to “meet for coffee at a nearby location. At that time bring your résumé taped to a pound of fresh-ground coffee.” So that’s two instances of petty bribery on top of the fact that you’re telling the employer where to conduct the interview. This speaks for itself

3) Interrupt a recruiter’s family time: From the very goldmine on Salary.com that brought you the Starbucks tip comes another genius idea: since your recruiter calls you out of the blue on your home phone, why shouldn’t you do the same? Just do a little “sleuthing” and find the recruiter’s home number—basically stalk them online, get their personal number and interrupt the only time they can comfortably relax.

4) I’m too good for you, please hire me: A JobDig.com article recommends that you describe yourself as overqualified in your cover letter, since this will get an employer’s attention. We couldn’t help but laugh when we read this. This will get their attention, enough so that they will chuck your application in the trash. Nobody wants to hire some who deems themselves as overqualified for the position. This is not being proactive or aggressive—this is just being stupid.

Like we discussed in our feature article this week, we’re asking you to stop trying to go out of your way with crazy tactics just because you don’t like the way things are going.

These horrendous job tips are excellent examples of a venomous mentality—that to get noticed you need to rely on gimmicks. But all you have to do is be great. And to be great, you must be somebody your office can rely on. You don’t need to bribe an employer with ground coffee or call them on their personal time to get their attention. You just have to play big.