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SHOW DATE: OCTOBER 2, 2013

Carmel Lobello from TheWeek.com did an excellent job compiling four of the worst job-hunting tips of all time. We enjoyed the list so much we decided to give it our own take.

1) Send a shoe, get the boot:  GuerillaJobHunting.com suggest you should get a cheap pair of shoes, take one out and put a note in the box with the remaining shoe saying: “Now that I have one shoe in the door let me introduce myself…” This is job hunting folklore, it’s common knowledge not to do this. But sometimes people just don’t get the message. A Stern Business School applicant actually tried this—he sent in his application, and then sent in the shoe. We all know how this story ends: a big fat rejection.

2) Force them to meet you at Starbucks: One of the items on a list of guerilla job hunting tips from Salary.com advises you not to fall for the “trap” of sending just your résumé and salary requirements while forgoing “engaging on your terms.” What exactly are “your terms”? Sending a potential employer a $1 Starbucks giftcard, and then asking them to “meet for coffee at a nearby location. At that time bring your résumé taped to a pound of fresh-ground coffee.” So that’s two instances of petty bribery on top of the fact that you’re telling the employer where to conduct the interview. This speaks for itself

3) Interrupt a recruiter’s family time: From the very goldmine on Salary.com that brought you the Starbucks tip comes another genius idea: since your recruiter calls you out of the blue on your home phone, why shouldn’t you do the same? Just do a little “sleuthing” and find the recruiter’s home number—basically stalk them online, get their personal number and interrupt the only time they can comfortably relax.

4) I’m too good for you, please hire me: A JobDig.com article recommends that you describe yourself as overqualified in your cover letter, since this will get an employer’s attention. We couldn’t help but laugh when we read this. This will get their attention, enough so that they will chuck your application in the trash. Nobody wants to hire some who deems themselves as overqualified for the position. This is not being proactive or aggressive—this is just being stupid.

Like we discussed in our feature article this week, we’re asking you to stop trying to go out of your way with crazy tactics just because you don’t like the way things are going.

These horrendous job tips are excellent examples of a venomous mentality—that to get noticed you need to rely on gimmicks. But all you have to do is be great. And to be great, you must be somebody your office can rely on. You don’t need to bribe an employer with ground coffee or call them on their personal time to get their attention. You just have to play big.

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