Job Talk Daily Live – June 18, 2014

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Job Talk Daily Live – June 4, 2014

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Job Talk Daily Live – May 28, 2014

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Job Talk Daily Live – May 21, 2014

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The Dirty Truth About Lying On The Job

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SHOW DATE: AUGUST 13, 2014

Everyone knows when you lie on the job. They can practically predict everything coming out of your mouth is utter..

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When we go to the car dealership, we prep ourselves for “lie time,” where Jack the car salesman will talk sales for the next few hours. What a waste of time: when Jack tells the truth, we are more apt to buy and it saves time for everybody.

It doesn’t get any simpler than that.

The other day, Auntie Evan got ready for an 8am meeting at the office with our accountant. The accountant comes in with his gold earring and slicked back hair and double tan, and on the side shadowing him is this big nameless muscle thug that he randomly invited.

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Walks in, sits down, we tell him what we want done with our house. The first thing the accountant does, and we could swear his tan triple-darkened and his gold earring started to twinkle a little brighter, was jump in with a suggestion for a realtor—from whom we knew he would get a percentage from.

Not a good start.

He should have addressed us first and then truthfully acknowledged that he knew a REALLY good realtor, and despite him getting a percentage from the referral, the the guy would do wonders. It would have been more honest, less “sales-y” and more authentic.

By pretending that it was just a good referral right off the bat, it only created bad blood between us. The rest of the conversation was virtually OVER.

You do this at work and don’t even notice it: you make promises you can’t keep (you may get busy or forget), you say things to expedite a meeting and you don’t lay it down straight to your boss.

Truthful conversations get things done FASTER. Don’t even look at this from a moral perspective. Things are more efficient when they aren’t marred by bullshit. Either you’re not telling the truth, or you’re allowing somebody else to lie. The last thing we want is a culture of lies and half-truths proliferating the working world.

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If you don’t know how to do something, and you pretend that you do, that’s lying. If you don’t say that you’ll be late, that’s lying by omission. I have a suggestion, and this is going to be CRAZY. If you don’t know something (ready for the insanity?): start with, “I don’t know” and… wait for it… “But let me help you. We’re going to find out how to do this together.”

THAT’s the way to go.

Pop culture example? Sure: we LOVE our summer TV guilty pleasure, Big Brother. Everybody was rooting for this guy Cody from the beginning, but he had this nagging habit of saying he’ll do something and never doing it. Now the whole fan base is against it.

After a while, you end up being the lonely guy in the dirty apartment, with a bottle in his hand… OK, maybe we’re getting sort of grim here.

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Check in with yourself. Conduct a mini self-interview. Are you telling a client, co-worker, boss, lover etc. something because you want them to like you more or to avoid confrontation? Or are you telling them the truth?

Tell us the truth and you’ll have us on your side. In fact, you’ll have everything: the trust, the job, the promotion and the career.

Job Talk Daily Live – May 14, 2014

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Job Talk Daily Live – May 7, 2014

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Job Talk Daily Live – April 30, 2014

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WAR AND PEACE: FIXING EMPLOYEE CONFLICTS THE RIGHT WAY

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SHOW DATE: AUGUST 6, 2014

The Israeli-Palestinian debate is one of the most polarizing issues we’ve EVER come across. And this only caps the tower of hot-button issues that have accreted and grown in the past year: gay marriage, Obamacare, abortion, and—yes, once again—contraception, along with myriad other topics.

Inevitably these create strong opinions and opinions often bleed over into work. It’s true that you should not have to forfeit your values because you’re worried it will piss off management. But how do so without submitting to the beliefs of others?

Soothe your nerves… Auntie Evan and Uncle David are here to explain all.

It all start with Auntie Evan at the fledgling age of 23, teaching his first aerobics lesson.

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This is NOT an accurate representation of Auntie Evan at 23.

There he was instructing his class in a Beverly Hills club. Five Jewish women across from him started discussing the situation in the Middle East (yeah, there was one back then as well).

Auntie Evan will never forget this. One of the women turned around and said: “The only good Palestinian is a dead Palestinian.”

Auntie Evan FREAKED OUT (in his mind). He retorted: “What are you talking about? Palestinians deserve the same rights as everybody!”

The Beverly Hills aerobics student replied: “Either you’re out of this club, or I’m out of this club.” It was five to one. Auntie Evan was fired from his job at the club for standing up for his values.

Was that a smart move on his part? Probably not. But here is how he got a PROMOTION right after. That same woman later called up Auntie Evan, apologized, and hired him back as a private trainer. (She didn’t change her mind by the way.)

Now that we have a nice running start into the topic, let’s dive in and get PRACTICAL. This is how to manage the WAR in your office.

The BIGGEST problem you have when you’re expressing your views is the blatant “dueling” stance you take every time you get passionate, angry, whatever at another employee or higher-up.

What happens when you keep your mouth shut? Uncle David had a client, a republican politician, running for office. This guy opposed to gay marriage, something Uncle David was passionate about. Guess what? Had to do everything in his power to get the politician elected. It was DIFFICULT. In the end, David kept the job, but he did feel bad about it.

How can you keep your values and beliefs without turning the office into a WARZONE?

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Here’s how:

Swallow your ego. Let go of wanting to make the other person wrong. If your goal is just to right? Do you want to be right or do you want to be EFFECTIVE.

Take the first step. That’s what LEADERS do. If both of you are in the “right,” apologize first. If they’re raging, explain it rationally to them FIRST.

Put a day in between what happened and your response. Tom says something absurd. You’re raging. Wait a day and cool down and see how it plays out then. You’re not the REASON for this war (it takes two), but don’t let your emotions get all carpe diem and make them a catalyst.

Get behind your apology and MEAN IT. Even if they say “F*ck off” and hang up on you. Put yourself on the line.

Call your crew off. We know you’ve got supporters. But back them off before they start up the war again.

There you have it.

Quitting Without Notice

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Dear Job Talk Daily Readers,

I read that stupid blog Auntie Evan wrote about quitting gracefully. Whatever.

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In case you do want the door to hit you in the ass on your way out, below are a few exit lines I have compiled for you, organized by various scenarios. And trust me, I’ve used a few of these on Auntie Evan. No, seriously—I’ve quit like four times. Now, understand, if you do this you need to have all of your sh-t boxed up and you have to be ready to go—and never come back. Not everyone is as forgiving as my dear Auntie.

Be warned: What you’re about to read gets increasingly offensive depending upon how hard you want that door to slam shut.

  • For when everyone in the office is meeting you for drinks later: “PEACE OUT, BITCHEZ!” (with three snaps up).
  • What everyone wishes they could say to their boss, and your coworkers are buying your drinks later: “It’s a good thing you can’t have any more children.”
  • To make sure that everyone actually gets to the bar later, to hear the story: “By the way, I slept with the boss’s husband (or wife).”
  • No one knew you were gay, and you want to find out who else is gay at the going-away party later: “By the way, Boss, your husband’s gay. I know. I sleep with him.”
  • You just really hate your boss, and you want everyone else to hate him too: “You know this is sexual harassment!” (delivered so even the mailroom hears you)
  • If you wanna be escorted out by security and your coworkers are not going to the bar with you later: “I KILL YOU!!”
  • If you want the police called (and you are okay with being behind bars): “I KILL YOU!” (with weapon in hand—#FloridaStyle.)
  • And as an absolute last resort—one that you can never come back from and you will simply lose all of your friends at the office (and never get your last check): “Damn Hebrews!”

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In closing, I leave you with the woman who is now my “Quitting Idol!”

 

Love,

Cousin Katie